Ever since I wrote 5 Things for 5 Years, I told myself to write top things I’ve learned each year during my marriage, adding one for each year.
This year has definitely had a lot of lessons for us. A new job, a big move 1,300 miles away, and living in a small apartment. Facing the unknown has been very scary. It has made us stronger and ready for anything that life throws at us.
For our 6 year anniversary, we decided to make the trip back home to Virginia. It’s always great to see our close friends and revisit our favorite spots but it definitely made us real homesick for a few days.
And for this blog post….better late than never.
1- Communication! It’s always hard for me to get my feelings out right away. I get upset easily if he’s frustrated with something. Especially if it deals with something personal. He’s only human but so am I. I have to think about what I want to say before I make a point without saying anything rash. And he’s learning to be patient with how I communicate. It takes work.
2- Make each other’s decisions for each other. My husband has voiced for a long time that he’s unhappy with the commute and I’ve long supported him on his job search. Once he found a fitting job, it was a rollercoaster of “yes” and “no”. I realized he needs someone in his corner to put his foot down and make the decision for him. Even though it meant major sacrifices.
3- It’s okay to cry. This year was probably our hardest to date. While I’ve been behind him all this time, I kept a lot of feelings in. I fought hard to stay strong and keep my eyes open. But damn, you just need to cry it out and let it go. As hard as it may seem, that opportunity removed the invisible wall we had, brought us closer and more understanding of each other than before.
4- Have patience. I noticed since we moved from a big house with a yard to a small apartment with daily multiple dog walking, my fuse was ready to blow. Alas, we do have a beautiful big home we’re building. It’s coming. I’m learning to be better at patience. I’m constantly learning to go with the flow. Embracing precious time and learning life doesn’t always go as planned.
5- Laugh. When it comes to blowbacks, I always try to laugh and believe that it can turn a lot of things around if you don’t let it hang over your head. I’ve noticed Justin can get easily frustrated over the smallest things and I can tell he notices he wants to try to laugh things off like I do. It’s okay to smile.
6- I realized how important it is to look ahead and see a bright future. What’s behind doesn’t define today. Always change for the best. Most importantly, I’m still learning to be me. Not that I never knew who I am or was, that it’s okay to be me. That it’s okay to be where we are, to enjoy the little things today.
On a side note, I had forgotten how much fun designing your house is. It’s our third home we’ve owned and as much as I didn’t want to leave our last house, this one is going to be amazing. Another blank canvas for me to decorate! A better garage gym! An amazing kitchen and bigger laundry room! What more could this deaf girl ask for?
It’s only been 3 months into the move. While we’re constantly exploring what Texas has to offer, awaiting our home to be built with a yard that’s perfect for our dogs, I have a real good feeling next year will be our best year yet!