How do you find ways to fit in?

I recently took a new job and then a couple weeks later I decided it wasn’t for me. I felt I couldn’t do the job they wanted me to. I’m a well trained licensed Registered Dental Hygienist. The heck? It wasn’t personal at all. The job wasn’t for me anyways.

But…I felt bad. I was literally beating myself up for it. “Should I have given it more thoughts? More chances?”

In all honestly, I came to realization that I just simply wasn’t happy. If you’re not in a good place at an office, why bother? Get out as soon as you can. Period.

But then soon after I gave my notice, they were fighting for me to stay and were willing to work with me. I laid my cards out and got over my fears of not being the “right fit”. It eventually got better. I felt more in control and things flowed much easier. I was “fitting in” and was able to do the job I take pride in.


So let’s get to the topic.

How do you find ways to fit in?

I get a lot of questions from readers about fitting in. I often wonder why this is a question I get most.

Granted. I grew up in a hearing family and use oral speech. I also went to a school for the deaf briefly and used ASL.

It is uncomfortable trying to fit in. Feeling weird about meeting others is okay. Showing who you are, being yourself, flaunting your hearing aids/cochlear implant is okay. If you hide who you really are inside, is not okay.

Having a disability and fitting in with normal people IS hard. You are not alone. I try to let all things go when I meet people. I stay confident and smile with grace. I don’t take things too personal when they say something similar to “oh I didn’t know you were deaf” or something along those lines. It’s all apart of getting to know people right? If someone you don’t know says something personal to you and it’s something you don’t like to hear, tell them the truth. They will understand you as a person with a disability and confide in you to learn about your hearing loss. Teach them with grace. (Unless they are an asshole, then it’s a different story.)


You are in control of fitting in.

“Fitting in” is meant to be uncomfortable.

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Have patience with people. They may not have patience with you but be the bigger person when this happens. Smile and kill them with kindness.

When you do things you enjoy such as dance classes, yoga, Crossfit, ASL, dental hygiene, etc, you’ll meet people who enjoy the same thing.

You will fit in when you’re meant to. People who don’t want you to fit in are assholes. If you meet assholes, RUN. (While you’re running, throw that middle finger up in the air. Okay, maybe not running with middle fingers but remember this, you’re standing ten feet taller than them. Even though it may not feel like it.)

Who really cares if they don’t like YOU.

It’s all apart of growth. You adapt and others will adapt with you. (I hope they do.)

That being said, just be yourself, your confident self.

Hearing Aid Insecurities: Overcoming it

We all have dealt with body image insecurities growing up. But there’s another part of me that has been shaped by something else.

I got called weirdo, a deaf-mute, foreigner, etc.

“What’s wrong with your voice?”

I used to have rocks and wood chips thrown at me during recess.

“Why don’t you use sign language instead of your weird voice?”

I was terrified of public speaking.

“Why do you wear a radio behind your ear?”

I would wear my hair down to hide my hearing aids in the halls.

I’ve been pushed, kicked, shouted, hair pulled to get my attention.

I was lost.

I was ashamed of my hearing aids.

I spent many years in speech therapy and used to think it was all for nothing.

BUT

They shaped me to be the person I am today.

They pushed me to be a better person.

Let it motivate you, let it break you down and take you to places you’ve never imagined before.

Take a bow on your past insecurities and stand ten feet tall.

About That Deaf Girl

I get several questions from readers about my blog.

I’m here to advocate for deaf/HOH community, influencing others to gain perspective on deafness, show some of the daily struggles not only with deafness but in every day life.

I know what it feels like to be alone in a crazy diverse world.

I know what it’s like to feel like to be a “burden”. That load on your shoulder is heavy.

I know what it feels like to be helpless. The look in other people’s eyes can be deceiving but don’t let it.

It doesn’t matter how deaf you are, how you speak or sign. It’s really okay.

You may be learning how to pronounce a word, learning how to sign, or learning how to hear. We are constantly educating ourselves every day.

Others should do the same. For us.

Be the best part of you. Embrace it. Be that deaf person.